Part 8.1
I don't think Death can ever be beautiful. Maybe it can occur in the context of beauty and honor. Maybe someone's death can be framed with love, sacrifice and mercy. I often think of a "nice" death as one where you go to sleep that night then you find yourself in a beautiful dream surrounded by wonderful mountain views. Suddenly you are met with angels and they inform you it is time. You follow them to Heaven and your body slowly breathes its last breath and you pass on in the dream from one plane of existence into another. Instead I find violent deaths, deaths that are slow and prolonged due to illness. The only "nice" deaths I find are the quick ones. The ones where the death is so quick and violent it is possible that the person didn’t feel a thing.
The Death:
My mother-in-law suffered a slow ugly death due to Cancer. Her body was emaciated, her hands looked like skeleton hands and her skin was a pronounced dull yellow due to jaundice. She looked almost mummified to a certain extent. She suffered a debilitating seizure a few hours before her passing where she lost her ability to speak. She would slowly move her eyes and head from side to side but you didn't know if she was sentient or not. My wife and I got there while she was in this state. It was hard to tell if she could understand when my wife would speak to her. Later, shortly after midnight her body convulsed violently. It appeared my mother-in-law was sneezing. That type of sneeze that is deep and hard, that hurts deep down in your chest. Her body did this sneeze around 2-3 times then kept still and that was it. She died. Everyone could tell it had happened. Cries of bereavement filled the bedroom by all those around her as her body laid still.
Now this death is probably what normally happens under these unfortunate circumstances as the body battles cancer and loses. Not sure, that's just my opinion but I am not a doctor. But what bothers me the most is that this woman was supposedly a Godly woman of the highest magnitude, filled with the Holy Spirit (so I was led to believe) based on the beliefs held by the IFB church. She was a Pastor's wife, unrelenting witness and tireless worker. She would perform “door-knocking visitation” which for you sales people is very similar to “cold sales calls”. In one instance she knocked on a person door and when the poor soul opened the door she said “Bang” as she held her hand in the shape of a gun. She would then ask “What if it was a real gun and you died; would you wake up in heaven or hell?” (Yep, I know what you are thinking, “Was she nuts!? That could get her beat up, slapped or at least screamed at!”) In many ways she was fearless and bold. Many times I envied that. She wouldn't hesitate to witness to anyone on the street no matter the color of their skin or their appearance. (Yes this is the same woman that is mentioned at the beginning of this blog --- the one that called her daughter (my wife) a whore for wearing “that which pertaineth to a man” ---pants.)
Where was God’s grace? Was this it? Was this the death she was supposed to get? She didn’t die with a smile on her face as she looked dreamily toward paradise. There was no “presence of angels” in the room. Instead there was sickness, sadness and despair. She had been battling cancer for several years and after certain high points in her treatment, that is when things were going well and she looked like she was winning the battle, she would claim the victory and said she believed God had/or would soon heal her. Yet she died. The only grace I found was that she was surrounded by most of her family and kids. I say most because my Father-In-Law refused to allow one of the Daughter-In-Laws from entering the house because he simply did not like her (see previous post). Later that night as everyone continued to weep, the funeral home personnel came and took her body away.
Now I don’t want to seem blasphemous or offensive to anybody but I was expecting something better for her. True, we had disagreements as evidenced by this blog, but if I am wrong and in danger of God’s judgment, then she is/was right with God. Why didn’t God give her more grace than that? There are those that were present at her deathbed that have convinced themselves that she passed away peacefully just so that they can preserve some sort of sanctity/peace within themselves. That’s fine, I won’t begrudge them that, but the truth is she suffered and it was disturbing. As I mentioned before; “Above All, Truth.”
The Husband’s Reaction:
The second part of her passing away that bothered me was the way my Father-In-Law reacted. Here was a “Man of God” that preached the glories of heaven and all that awaits the children of God on the other side. He preached that God was the one that strengthens you during the valleys of your life, yet he fell into despair. He wished for her return and contemplated giving up on life and often mentioned that he had nothing to live for. Now, I don’t begrudge a man’s mourning for his spouse. It is a terrible thing. An event that I hope to avoid, but here was a man that judged me and condemned me and considered himself to be “holier than me” yet where was his faith? I would not say this of any other man but you make yourself a spectacle/hypocrite when you act like this and you claim to be God’s man. Either you believe this stuff or you don’t. A few weeks after she passed away, he wondered why certain people still lived and she didn’t. Why God had taken her away?
I became angry at him and his lack of faith especially when he was so quick to condemn others and rub it in their noses that he was going to heaven and they were not. (To be frank, this still makes me angry when I think about it.) Maybe he thought they were too good for this to happen to them. Both of them kept hoping for God to deliver them from this cancerous death and maybe they could not understand why He (God) was not responding. After all, they had done everything right by their reckoning. They were in the service for God; they had put their ministry above everything else, including their children and their personal health/wealth. I have been there as a young Christian. I’ve wondered why God did not answer my prayer when all that was needed was faith, and I had it when I prayed. Later, I would convince myself that I had done something wrong to displease God, that’s why he didn’t answer me.
To be fair, if my spouse died I would fair no better. I would probably cry like a baby for quite a while. The difference is I’m not the “Spirit Filled Man of God.” I don’t claim to be one. I don’t preach/prance like a spring peacock telling everyone how great everything is when you do what I say, and how God’s going to hurt you if you don’t do what I say.
My Mother-In-Law’s death has left me with more questions and some brutally honest conclusions. Some of you will disagree whole-heartedly, that’s fine. I welcome the disagreements/feedback. The conclusions below are just the facts as I see them:
“Piss poor planning on our part, does not constitute an emergency on God’s part”:
In other words, if you neglect your health don’t expect God to heal you in the final hour. (This can be said about our finances too by the way) Where in the Bible does it say that? Can God heal? Sure, by definition He is God he can do anything. The real question is “Does God heal?” or maybe “Will God heal?” The answer to those questions is: No. Sorry, but if He was in the healing business why does he let sickness continue? Why doesn’t he send Benny Hinn to the hospitals and start healing the folks in intensive care? (Personally, I think Benny Hinn is a crook/fake, so just pick your favorite preacher in his stead.) I know this is Pandora’s Box for some and yes I’ve studied Theodicy so we can go a couple of rounds if you like but honestly, when was the last time you prayed for someone who was on their deathbed? Did you honestly believe they were going to be healed? Did you honestly believe they were going to rise up? If this happened when you and others prayed don’t you think we would hear about it? I’m not talking about these cheap parlor tricks/antics seen at these so-called “Healing Services” a la` Benny Hinn. I’m talking legitimate healing!
Preachers are nothing but poor sinners, they are not perfect men.:
Some of you will say “Well, DUH! Where have you been?” But, I write this for 2 reasons. One, if a preacher is reading this, get off that high horse of yours. Preaching "as one having authority" does not mean being an arrogant ass. Two, the next time a man of God wants you to do something that puts your family/health/wealth in jeopardy you say one word: NO! or even better “HELL NO!”. You see my point is this: They are not God, and if one of these men comes to you and says “God has told me that you need to [insert unreasonable request here]” you can fire back and say “God is perfectly able to tell me directly, thank you very much.” There is one thing I learned late in my Christian life that I wish someone had taught me from the start: There is a difference between serving God, and serving your Church/Pastor. Beware: they are NOT one and the same!!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Interim Post: Response to certain visitors of www.baptistdeception.com
(This is a copy of the post I submitted to www.baptistdeception.com in response to some visitors that do not agree with Mr. Steve Sorenson's much needed web site, I thought I would post it here as well)
One of the things I have come to terms of late is the pursuit of pure, unadulterated truth, or to put it simply, "Above All: Truth". When I became a victim of spiritual abuse by IFBCs, I decided to check and validate everything they (IFB leaders) have ever told me, from KJV only, to tithing and church history. I'm still on that quest and have come to the conclusion that I will never know the complete truth this side of life, maybe in the next one, (then again where is it stated once we die we will know everything right?).
If my faith, denomination, church, etc, cannot stand up to the scrutiny of honest questions and examination of truth then it needs to be cast aside. For example (this is for you hard-core IFBer's): Suppose for a minute that we have solid, undeniable evidence that the KJV-Only stance is incorrect or that the KJV Bible has errors due to the translation process. Now most of you IFBs will have stopped right there and not understood the question so . . .one more time: SUPPOSE, that we have solid, UDENIABLE EVIDENCE that the KJV-Only stance is incorrect and that the KJV Bible has errors due to the translation process (Ok IFBs, hang in there don't switch off, just SUPPOSE!). What will you do? Will your faith crumble because it is centered on a human endeavor? (The KJV translation was after all done by humans not angels.) Do you have the courage to look at that portion of your faith/belief and say "that belief was wrong"? What if the same thing can be said about tithing? Most members of IFB churches that I know will not consider such questions and operate almost as if they are in a cult. They will run away because it threatens their entire spiritual world and they are afraid. Like the classic scenario of the abused child that refuses help because despite the abuse (or incorrectness of teaching) that is all they know and the alternative (the unknown) is not acceptable. Despite the guilt they feel over some of the smallest things in life, despite the fear that God will send the "Destroyer" if they don't tithe, or God will visit judgment upon them if they do not attend every service or church event. Some will reach a level where they feel they are doing it out of love for God and not guilt, but what happens when that feeling dissipates? That's right, you start doing it out of guilt! (Come on, admit it, it’s ok, you can tell us, we've been there :) Yet despite all this, they feel they are in the proper spiritual world where everything is as it should be. Until the abused reach a level of pain where they say enough is enough! Have the courage to start asking questions at your church! Ask them the hard ones! When they give you there standard, patented IFB answers, go to the internet (Google or Bing) and research the opposing views, print them out, go back to your preacher/SS teacher and sit down with him and review them point by point. Here are some good ones to get you started: Is tithing for the New Testament church? What evidence do you have to support Pre-Trib Rapture theory? What is Preterism? History of KJV-Only-ism.
I predict a couple of outcomes once you start doing this: 1. the preacher will meet with you and tolerate this a few times then tell you to stop asking questions or leave the church. 2. The preacher will start to avoid you and make excuses why he can't meet, may defer you to a deacon/Sunday school teacher, if you persist he will ask you to leave the church. 3. The preacher will start getting mad and start using you as the topic of preaching during subsequent services. 4. Maybe, just maybe, the preacher will meet with you and welcome your quest for truth and embrace your endeavor.
People who have written on this site opposing Mr. Steve Sorenson simply lack the courage to honestly look at their IFB beliefs/movement with an open, clear, un-predisposed mind. They have been successfully programmed to lock their mind and throw away the key using the very scriptures they profess to follow. They will justify cruelty, anger, name-calling, profanity and violence all in the name of their god. I see them stoning the woman caught in adultery whereas Jesus simply let her go. Do you have the courage to see if we the abused are right? Try it! God will not condemn a person who is honestly searching for truth right? Ask God to show you and have the courage to take the answer even if it goes against the preacher/church/denomination. After all, you have been preached that there are incorrect wayward churches out there; all you want to do is make sure you are not in one of them.
I can tell you of the wonderful freedom and happiness my wife and I enjoy now that we no longer attend these churches. We stopped tithing years ago and that "Devourer" fellow (still sounds like WWF character or something doesn't it?), he never did appear. I have not lost my job, my car did not explode (boy, sometimes we make God out to be a terrorist don't we? Car bombs and all.) I have spoken out against these so called men of god (yep, little 'g' on purpose there) and no "She-Bears" have appeared to devour me. God has not killed my kids. I will continue to call out these men of god as I see them, some are ignorant fools and some are just plain asses. I don't answer to them anymore; in fact they in part should answer to me for leading me astray so many years. They should answer to you too; after all they claim to have the truth! For those that doubt my experience, understand that I was well on my way to becoming one of them. I was an Adult Sunday school teacher, preacher and deacon over the course of my IFB life and was on the cusp of enrolling/attending Ambassador Baptist College in North Carolina following after Ron Comfort. Glad I didn't. I would rather be an "Honest Sinner, than a Fake Saint". And I will be the first one to tell you I am not perfect or holy, but then again, unlike most IFB preachers I've known, I never claimed to be. Peace, out! :)
One of the things I have come to terms of late is the pursuit of pure, unadulterated truth, or to put it simply, "Above All: Truth". When I became a victim of spiritual abuse by IFBCs, I decided to check and validate everything they (IFB leaders) have ever told me, from KJV only, to tithing and church history. I'm still on that quest and have come to the conclusion that I will never know the complete truth this side of life, maybe in the next one, (then again where is it stated once we die we will know everything right?).
If my faith, denomination, church, etc, cannot stand up to the scrutiny of honest questions and examination of truth then it needs to be cast aside. For example (this is for you hard-core IFBer's): Suppose for a minute that we have solid, undeniable evidence that the KJV-Only stance is incorrect or that the KJV Bible has errors due to the translation process. Now most of you IFBs will have stopped right there and not understood the question so . . .one more time: SUPPOSE, that we have solid, UDENIABLE EVIDENCE that the KJV-Only stance is incorrect and that the KJV Bible has errors due to the translation process (Ok IFBs, hang in there don't switch off, just SUPPOSE!). What will you do? Will your faith crumble because it is centered on a human endeavor? (The KJV translation was after all done by humans not angels.) Do you have the courage to look at that portion of your faith/belief and say "that belief was wrong"? What if the same thing can be said about tithing? Most members of IFB churches that I know will not consider such questions and operate almost as if they are in a cult. They will run away because it threatens their entire spiritual world and they are afraid. Like the classic scenario of the abused child that refuses help because despite the abuse (or incorrectness of teaching) that is all they know and the alternative (the unknown) is not acceptable. Despite the guilt they feel over some of the smallest things in life, despite the fear that God will send the "Destroyer" if they don't tithe, or God will visit judgment upon them if they do not attend every service or church event. Some will reach a level where they feel they are doing it out of love for God and not guilt, but what happens when that feeling dissipates? That's right, you start doing it out of guilt! (Come on, admit it, it’s ok, you can tell us, we've been there :) Yet despite all this, they feel they are in the proper spiritual world where everything is as it should be. Until the abused reach a level of pain where they say enough is enough! Have the courage to start asking questions at your church! Ask them the hard ones! When they give you there standard, patented IFB answers, go to the internet (Google or Bing) and research the opposing views, print them out, go back to your preacher/SS teacher and sit down with him and review them point by point. Here are some good ones to get you started: Is tithing for the New Testament church? What evidence do you have to support Pre-Trib Rapture theory? What is Preterism? History of KJV-Only-ism.
I predict a couple of outcomes once you start doing this: 1. the preacher will meet with you and tolerate this a few times then tell you to stop asking questions or leave the church. 2. The preacher will start to avoid you and make excuses why he can't meet, may defer you to a deacon/Sunday school teacher, if you persist he will ask you to leave the church. 3. The preacher will start getting mad and start using you as the topic of preaching during subsequent services. 4. Maybe, just maybe, the preacher will meet with you and welcome your quest for truth and embrace your endeavor.
People who have written on this site opposing Mr. Steve Sorenson simply lack the courage to honestly look at their IFB beliefs/movement with an open, clear, un-predisposed mind. They have been successfully programmed to lock their mind and throw away the key using the very scriptures they profess to follow. They will justify cruelty, anger, name-calling, profanity and violence all in the name of their god. I see them stoning the woman caught in adultery whereas Jesus simply let her go. Do you have the courage to see if we the abused are right? Try it! God will not condemn a person who is honestly searching for truth right? Ask God to show you and have the courage to take the answer even if it goes against the preacher/church/denomination. After all, you have been preached that there are incorrect wayward churches out there; all you want to do is make sure you are not in one of them.
I can tell you of the wonderful freedom and happiness my wife and I enjoy now that we no longer attend these churches. We stopped tithing years ago and that "Devourer" fellow (still sounds like WWF character or something doesn't it?), he never did appear. I have not lost my job, my car did not explode (boy, sometimes we make God out to be a terrorist don't we? Car bombs and all.) I have spoken out against these so called men of god (yep, little 'g' on purpose there) and no "She-Bears" have appeared to devour me. God has not killed my kids. I will continue to call out these men of god as I see them, some are ignorant fools and some are just plain asses. I don't answer to them anymore; in fact they in part should answer to me for leading me astray so many years. They should answer to you too; after all they claim to have the truth! For those that doubt my experience, understand that I was well on my way to becoming one of them. I was an Adult Sunday school teacher, preacher and deacon over the course of my IFB life and was on the cusp of enrolling/attending Ambassador Baptist College in North Carolina following after Ron Comfort. Glad I didn't. I would rather be an "Honest Sinner, than a Fake Saint". And I will be the first one to tell you I am not perfect or holy, but then again, unlike most IFB preachers I've known, I never claimed to be. Peace, out! :)
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Interim Post: An example of IFB preachers and How to get help
An example of similar "men of God":
Dr. Phil Kidd
You can also view the "men of God" in his Guestbook:
Dr. Phil Kidd's Guestbook entries and rants
Great website for those that have sufferred:
http://www.baptistdeception.com/
Dr. Phil Kidd
You can also view the "men of God" in his Guestbook:
Dr. Phil Kidd's Guestbook entries and rants
Great website for those that have sufferred:
http://www.baptistdeception.com/
Monday, January 11, 2010
Part 8: Deathbed
I apologize for my long absence to those that have waited. Life gets in the way of such things like blogs, tweets, and facebooks. The inverse can also be true; blogs, tweets, and facebooks can get in the way of life but I would prefer the former rather than the latter. (Just for the record I despise Twitter, well maybe not the technology as much as the aimless tweets about nothing at all . . . I don't care that you ate a great Reuben sandwich at the deli . . . sheesh!)
Ok, back to the subject matter at hand. If you have followed this blog from the beginning you already may have mental picture of my In-Laws. Allow me to re-cap. On the surface they appeared to be Holy Spirit filled Christians following the will of God. My Father-In-Law after all has the most important job any Christian can ever have: Preacher. My Mother-In-Law has the most important job any woman can have this side of heaven: Preacher's wife. (I write this with heavy sarcasm, I don't believe any of that. Besides many of you readers would disagree about the woman's job anyway and that's fine too.) They were a missionary couple that dedicated their lives to the kingdom of God and in my opinion sacrificed their children on the altar of service for God. They spent a couple of decades in Germany as Missionaries to the American Military and started a couple of churches, and built up a few churches that had dwindled in membership. When I first met them I was awe struck. I had found what appeared to be lovely Christian couple that had everything right. He preached fire and brimstone, she showed love and compassion, helping the young ladies in the church, and interestingly enough doing most of the witnessing, a unique dichotomy.
I was a young 18 year old that came from a broken home that had struggled early in my Christian youth. Having gone through adolescence, I struggled with everything from basic peer pressure, sex and all the other crap we have to go through in this life. All this without the help of a Christian home, older spiritual Christian Brother or decent church for support. The church I was attending was more concerned with my speaking in Tongues and learning about the Rapture and Tribulation that was supposed to happen in 1987, 1988, 1989, 1991, 1993, 1999, 2000 (Y2K) . . . you get the picture. So it is no surprised that when they took me under their wing I had found a small piece of Heaven. I met their daughter, fell in love, got called to preach and married their daughter all in the span of 2 years. A very busy fellow was I. (At this point you can start at the beginning of this blog for the proverbial “flashback”.)
Assuming you have read this blog from the beginning you can see that the truth of this missionary couple was pretty ugly. Having shed the shackles (yes I said shackles and I mean shackles!) of IFB I look back and see the bigotry, hatred, inbred intellectualism, historical and biblical ignorance and just plain moronic stupidity that is endemic in this IFB movement. My In-Laws are a representation of this movement that has hurt lives and continues to hurt them all in the name of God. Consider the following:
IFB’s promote “Biblical Inbred Intellectualism”: Most preachers I know only attended “paper” seminaries or backyard Bible Colleges that are sponsored by a local church where there is no qualified teacher of Bible other than the preacher that attended yet another “paper” seminary or backyard Bible College. As such they promote and teach the same Biblically bereft principles that are very destructive. Now to be clear I am not referring to Christian fundamentals such as Christ’s Atonement, Salvation etc. I’m talking about ludicrous ideas about KJV only, tithes and offerings, pants and makeup on women, birth control, anti-government ideas that border on anarchism and general paranoia about everyone that does not attend their church.
IFB’s promote a “Christian Welfare State”: Most of these churches demand 10% of your Gross Income (not NET) as Tithes. Most preachers will tell you to pay God first before you pay your bills, and don’t worry about your bills because God will provide. They also demand you participate in “Faith Promise”, a program where you pledge additional monthly monies to missionaries. They also constantly encourage you to give additional offering in the form of cash and loose change you have in your purse. They also demand your free time on Wednesday, Thursday or Saturday visitations, Saturday workdays or Saturday night prayer meetings and any other time when the pastor needs you. Now, add to this the idea that secular education is terrible and plagued with sin and destruction for you and your kids. To hear them tell it, your kids will either come out of public school a homosexual, an unbeliever or in a coffin. And don’t even think about sending them to a secular college as that is certain doom on them, they must go to a Christian College --see previous point. To be fair, there are very good Christian Colleges out there but they are outside the circles of the IFB movement that I speak of. (Ok, stay with me, I’m almost done.) Now, add a good helping of “Birth Control is Sin” and “Wife’s place is in the home” and standard male dominance/chauvinistic tendencies that follow the men of this group and you have a lot of kids you now have to feed. So what have I baked in my “IFB oven?” A financially strapped, exhausted, anti-education . . . I’ll let you fill in the rest.
Ok, I’m done digressing . . .
My In-Laws secretly grieved and probably prayed for God’s wrath to fall on me because I no longer attended church, yet they were the very reason I no longer went. My Mother-In-Law had developed cancer a few years ago, had struggled with chemo and her health was touch and go the last couple of years of her life. As bad as the situation got with my In-Laws, I did not “rock the boat” due to her health and for my wife’s sake as well. I kept my mouth shut and simply ignored them. I did not tell them how I felt about the IFBs, KJV only-ism, Tithing. To do so would have alienated my wife from her mother during the twilight of her mother’s life.
Before I move to my Mother-In-Law’s death I must point out a few things how her Christian beliefs accelerated her condition and in my opinion may have caused an early death. Yes, I know several of you believe it is God that calls you home so this argument is moot for you but for those that have still have the common sense that God gave you consider the following:
They (my In-Laws) at one point in the early 70’s/80’s did not believe in going to doctors. They believed that God would heal their ailments and there was no need to involve human help. To do so was to show a lack of faith in God. Simply pray and have the “elders of the church anoint your head with oil”.
It was only under extreme health threatening conditions did they ever seek medical help and when they did it was with extreme reluctance. At one point a doctor had to tell my Father-In-Law that he needed to get his wife to the hospital or she would die. This was due to an already enlarged heart that was a result of congestive heart failure back in the late 80’s. She pulled through that episode . . . barely. After this, they proceeded to do periodic check-ups on her heart but as to the frequency and intensity of these check-ups there remains doubt.
I was there when she died at 60 years of age. I had never before been at someone’s deathbed. It was a sad, chilling experience. When you see someone dying, you are willing to forgive more than when you see them living, very ironic isn’t it? My wife seemingly sensed something was terribly wrong about a week before she died. And for the record for those that know who the identity of these folks are; it was my wife that convinced her dad to call some of the immediate family that week to come and see my Mother-In-Law before she passed away. Somehow my wife seemed to know.
We rushed down to the parsonage where my In-Laws were living. When we got there on a Friday afternoon, my Mother-In-Law had just had a seizure of some sort and started to go downhill fast. She looked emaciated, skeletal and very yellow. She looked fake, like a yellow mannequin in some sort of museum exhibit for the dead and dying. Most of her children and a few grandchildren were gathered around her when we got there. My wife’s big brother, whom I will refer to as Jay from this point forward, was on his way. Jay was the firstborn and he was bringing his wife, I’ll refer to her as Eve. Eve loved my Mother-In-Law too and was close to her but she was never fully accepted by my In-Laws and was often grossly mistreated by them. They considered her very rebellious for she spoke her mind, wore pants and make-up. This mistreatment continued even unto my Mother-In-Law’s death. My Father-In-Law refused to let Eve come in the house and told Jay that she was not family and was not welcomed. The result was that Jay had to grieve the passing away of his mother without the support of his lovely wife who had to stay in a hotel a few miles away also grieving alone. All because of a cold, bigoted, hateful man that, to my knowledge was a cold, bigoted hateful man before he “got saved” and is still a cold, bigoted, hateful man even after he “got saved.”
“By their fruits ye shall know . . .”
Next: Part 8.1 Death of a Saint?
Ok, back to the subject matter at hand. If you have followed this blog from the beginning you already may have mental picture of my In-Laws. Allow me to re-cap. On the surface they appeared to be Holy Spirit filled Christians following the will of God. My Father-In-Law after all has the most important job any Christian can ever have: Preacher. My Mother-In-Law has the most important job any woman can have this side of heaven: Preacher's wife. (I write this with heavy sarcasm, I don't believe any of that. Besides many of you readers would disagree about the woman's job anyway and that's fine too.) They were a missionary couple that dedicated their lives to the kingdom of God and in my opinion sacrificed their children on the altar of service for God. They spent a couple of decades in Germany as Missionaries to the American Military and started a couple of churches, and built up a few churches that had dwindled in membership. When I first met them I was awe struck. I had found what appeared to be lovely Christian couple that had everything right. He preached fire and brimstone, she showed love and compassion, helping the young ladies in the church, and interestingly enough doing most of the witnessing, a unique dichotomy.
I was a young 18 year old that came from a broken home that had struggled early in my Christian youth. Having gone through adolescence, I struggled with everything from basic peer pressure, sex and all the other crap we have to go through in this life. All this without the help of a Christian home, older spiritual Christian Brother or decent church for support. The church I was attending was more concerned with my speaking in Tongues and learning about the Rapture and Tribulation that was supposed to happen in 1987, 1988, 1989, 1991, 1993, 1999, 2000 (Y2K) . . . you get the picture. So it is no surprised that when they took me under their wing I had found a small piece of Heaven. I met their daughter, fell in love, got called to preach and married their daughter all in the span of 2 years. A very busy fellow was I. (At this point you can start at the beginning of this blog for the proverbial “flashback”.)
Assuming you have read this blog from the beginning you can see that the truth of this missionary couple was pretty ugly. Having shed the shackles (yes I said shackles and I mean shackles!) of IFB I look back and see the bigotry, hatred, inbred intellectualism, historical and biblical ignorance and just plain moronic stupidity that is endemic in this IFB movement. My In-Laws are a representation of this movement that has hurt lives and continues to hurt them all in the name of God. Consider the following:
IFB’s promote “Biblical Inbred Intellectualism”: Most preachers I know only attended “paper” seminaries or backyard Bible Colleges that are sponsored by a local church where there is no qualified teacher of Bible other than the preacher that attended yet another “paper” seminary or backyard Bible College. As such they promote and teach the same Biblically bereft principles that are very destructive. Now to be clear I am not referring to Christian fundamentals such as Christ’s Atonement, Salvation etc. I’m talking about ludicrous ideas about KJV only, tithes and offerings, pants and makeup on women, birth control, anti-government ideas that border on anarchism and general paranoia about everyone that does not attend their church.
IFB’s promote a “Christian Welfare State”: Most of these churches demand 10% of your Gross Income (not NET) as Tithes. Most preachers will tell you to pay God first before you pay your bills, and don’t worry about your bills because God will provide. They also demand you participate in “Faith Promise”, a program where you pledge additional monthly monies to missionaries. They also constantly encourage you to give additional offering in the form of cash and loose change you have in your purse. They also demand your free time on Wednesday, Thursday or Saturday visitations, Saturday workdays or Saturday night prayer meetings and any other time when the pastor needs you. Now, add to this the idea that secular education is terrible and plagued with sin and destruction for you and your kids. To hear them tell it, your kids will either come out of public school a homosexual, an unbeliever or in a coffin. And don’t even think about sending them to a secular college as that is certain doom on them, they must go to a Christian College --see previous point. To be fair, there are very good Christian Colleges out there but they are outside the circles of the IFB movement that I speak of. (Ok, stay with me, I’m almost done.) Now, add a good helping of “Birth Control is Sin” and “Wife’s place is in the home” and standard male dominance/chauvinistic tendencies that follow the men of this group and you have a lot of kids you now have to feed. So what have I baked in my “IFB oven?” A financially strapped, exhausted, anti-education . . . I’ll let you fill in the rest.
Ok, I’m done digressing . . .
My In-Laws secretly grieved and probably prayed for God’s wrath to fall on me because I no longer attended church, yet they were the very reason I no longer went. My Mother-In-Law had developed cancer a few years ago, had struggled with chemo and her health was touch and go the last couple of years of her life. As bad as the situation got with my In-Laws, I did not “rock the boat” due to her health and for my wife’s sake as well. I kept my mouth shut and simply ignored them. I did not tell them how I felt about the IFBs, KJV only-ism, Tithing. To do so would have alienated my wife from her mother during the twilight of her mother’s life.
Before I move to my Mother-In-Law’s death I must point out a few things how her Christian beliefs accelerated her condition and in my opinion may have caused an early death. Yes, I know several of you believe it is God that calls you home so this argument is moot for you but for those that have still have the common sense that God gave you consider the following:
They (my In-Laws) at one point in the early 70’s/80’s did not believe in going to doctors. They believed that God would heal their ailments and there was no need to involve human help. To do so was to show a lack of faith in God. Simply pray and have the “elders of the church anoint your head with oil”.
It was only under extreme health threatening conditions did they ever seek medical help and when they did it was with extreme reluctance. At one point a doctor had to tell my Father-In-Law that he needed to get his wife to the hospital or she would die. This was due to an already enlarged heart that was a result of congestive heart failure back in the late 80’s. She pulled through that episode . . . barely. After this, they proceeded to do periodic check-ups on her heart but as to the frequency and intensity of these check-ups there remains doubt.
I was there when she died at 60 years of age. I had never before been at someone’s deathbed. It was a sad, chilling experience. When you see someone dying, you are willing to forgive more than when you see them living, very ironic isn’t it? My wife seemingly sensed something was terribly wrong about a week before she died. And for the record for those that know who the identity of these folks are; it was my wife that convinced her dad to call some of the immediate family that week to come and see my Mother-In-Law before she passed away. Somehow my wife seemed to know.
We rushed down to the parsonage where my In-Laws were living. When we got there on a Friday afternoon, my Mother-In-Law had just had a seizure of some sort and started to go downhill fast. She looked emaciated, skeletal and very yellow. She looked fake, like a yellow mannequin in some sort of museum exhibit for the dead and dying. Most of her children and a few grandchildren were gathered around her when we got there. My wife’s big brother, whom I will refer to as Jay from this point forward, was on his way. Jay was the firstborn and he was bringing his wife, I’ll refer to her as Eve. Eve loved my Mother-In-Law too and was close to her but she was never fully accepted by my In-Laws and was often grossly mistreated by them. They considered her very rebellious for she spoke her mind, wore pants and make-up. This mistreatment continued even unto my Mother-In-Law’s death. My Father-In-Law refused to let Eve come in the house and told Jay that she was not family and was not welcomed. The result was that Jay had to grieve the passing away of his mother without the support of his lovely wife who had to stay in a hotel a few miles away also grieving alone. All because of a cold, bigoted, hateful man that, to my knowledge was a cold, bigoted hateful man before he “got saved” and is still a cold, bigoted, hateful man even after he “got saved.”
“By their fruits ye shall know . . .”
Next: Part 8.1 Death of a Saint?
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Part 7.2 Interim Update
Ok, here is the quick and dirty update: My son almost died last year (summer of 2007). I know some of you will say: "HA! God's judgement has fallen upon him!! See that's what you get when you leave the church!!" (Thanks . . . God bless you too!). He went into Keto-Acidosis state. The Doctor's at Vanderbilt were able to stabalize him and he has fully recovered, albeit he was diagnosed as a Type 1 Diabetic but he is doing great.
Now here is the rest of the story. The night we rushed him to the ER was during the week my In-Laws were visting for a couple of days. They were staying in the spare bedroom downstairs. These are the same In-Laws (IFB Preacher and IFB Preacher's Wife) I have been blogging about (see previous posts). My wife and I rushed him to the ER. The local hospital could not handle the emergency so they transferred him via ambulance to Vanderbilt. My son was in/out of conscienceness. All the while my In-laws were staying with the rest of the kids back home (so far so good). After around 18 hours or so he was stabalized. My In-Laws called (actually just my Mother In-Law) and checked on us. The next day the In-Laws decided to leave because they had to get back the their church and Church Visitation was that evening. My wife and I are still at the hospital with my son, in Vanderbilt medical center over 1 hour away!! Now, my oldest is a very mature 15 so he is capable of handling things so we were not in a panic over this though we just looked at each other and shook our heads.
Now here is the heart-breaking part (heart-breaking for my wife, infuriating for me); They drove right through Nashville and never stopped at Vanderbilt to look at their grandson!!! Never stopped to console their daughter!!! Their grandson was still out of it with all sorts of tubes and IV's sticking out of him and they kept on going to their precious church Visitation night!!! He had OnStar in his fairly new truck, he could have asked where/how to get to Vanderbilt. My wife was distraught!! My boy later on wept when he heard that GranMa and GranPa kept on going!! I'm PO'd and still am. What kind of crap religion is that!?! They never asked if we needed anything while we were at the ER in Vanderbilt, never asked if they could bring us some food or a change of clothes. I was needing spiritual help, I broke down several times. My sole consolation came from our family doctor who happened to be at Vanderbilt and heard about his patient and paid us a visit. He was the one who gave me comfort and told me it was going to be alright!! Where was this Man of God: my Father In Law?? Till this day my Father-In-Law refuses to believe that they did anything wrong!! That no apology will be given by him nor should it be expected. He refuses to believe that my boy's life was in danger. Anybody with a computer can Google Diabetic ketoacidosis and read for themselves that is life-threatening and has a high-mortality rate. Is there any IFB preacher that condones this??? Do you IFB Preachers agree with him too?? Is this the Jesus you serve?? You can have him!! You are nothing more than a modern day Pharisee who will let a man die on the Sabbath rather than save him lest you break the commandments. To HELL with you if that is what you think!!!
What's the matter??? Isn't that what Jesus said to the Pharisees?? I'm paraphrasing but I believe he basically said "To Hell with You". Oh, Jesus used more eloquent words: "Whited Wall, Vipers, Hypocrites, Child Of Hell, Children of Satan" etc, etc. But the meaning is the same.
Now for those that have kept up with this blog, I apologize for not updating it as much as I wanted. But I am thinking about doing something that I was reluctant to do. I'm debating on identifying this "Man of God" Father-In-Law in the near future. I'm personally fed up and someone needs to hold him and all others like him accountable. Several of you will say let God deal with him. No problem, but maybe I'm God's instrument that will bring this to light?? Don't you think?? He used a donkey didn't he?? You people out there that are IFB preachers. I put you all on notice!!! I have one more post regarding the death of my Mother In Law then I will make the final decision about revealing his identity and church.
For those that are looking for God and Truth. I'm right there with you!! God Bless!!
Here is one of my personal sayings, and you can quote me: "I would rather be an Honest Sinner than a Fake Saint!"
(Now I have to get back to work before I get in trouble).
Now here is the rest of the story. The night we rushed him to the ER was during the week my In-Laws were visting for a couple of days. They were staying in the spare bedroom downstairs. These are the same In-Laws (IFB Preacher and IFB Preacher's Wife) I have been blogging about (see previous posts). My wife and I rushed him to the ER. The local hospital could not handle the emergency so they transferred him via ambulance to Vanderbilt. My son was in/out of conscienceness. All the while my In-laws were staying with the rest of the kids back home (so far so good). After around 18 hours or so he was stabalized. My In-Laws called (actually just my Mother In-Law) and checked on us. The next day the In-Laws decided to leave because they had to get back the their church and Church Visitation was that evening. My wife and I are still at the hospital with my son, in Vanderbilt medical center over 1 hour away!! Now, my oldest is a very mature 15 so he is capable of handling things so we were not in a panic over this though we just looked at each other and shook our heads.
Now here is the heart-breaking part (heart-breaking for my wife, infuriating for me); They drove right through Nashville and never stopped at Vanderbilt to look at their grandson!!! Never stopped to console their daughter!!! Their grandson was still out of it with all sorts of tubes and IV's sticking out of him and they kept on going to their precious church Visitation night!!! He had OnStar in his fairly new truck, he could have asked where/how to get to Vanderbilt. My wife was distraught!! My boy later on wept when he heard that GranMa and GranPa kept on going!! I'm PO'd and still am. What kind of crap religion is that!?! They never asked if we needed anything while we were at the ER in Vanderbilt, never asked if they could bring us some food or a change of clothes. I was needing spiritual help, I broke down several times. My sole consolation came from our family doctor who happened to be at Vanderbilt and heard about his patient and paid us a visit. He was the one who gave me comfort and told me it was going to be alright!! Where was this Man of God: my Father In Law?? Till this day my Father-In-Law refuses to believe that they did anything wrong!! That no apology will be given by him nor should it be expected. He refuses to believe that my boy's life was in danger. Anybody with a computer can Google Diabetic ketoacidosis and read for themselves that is life-threatening and has a high-mortality rate. Is there any IFB preacher that condones this??? Do you IFB Preachers agree with him too?? Is this the Jesus you serve?? You can have him!! You are nothing more than a modern day Pharisee who will let a man die on the Sabbath rather than save him lest you break the commandments. To HELL with you if that is what you think!!!
What's the matter??? Isn't that what Jesus said to the Pharisees?? I'm paraphrasing but I believe he basically said "To Hell with You". Oh, Jesus used more eloquent words: "Whited Wall, Vipers, Hypocrites, Child Of Hell, Children of Satan" etc, etc. But the meaning is the same.
Now for those that have kept up with this blog, I apologize for not updating it as much as I wanted. But I am thinking about doing something that I was reluctant to do. I'm debating on identifying this "Man of God" Father-In-Law in the near future. I'm personally fed up and someone needs to hold him and all others like him accountable. Several of you will say let God deal with him. No problem, but maybe I'm God's instrument that will bring this to light?? Don't you think?? He used a donkey didn't he?? You people out there that are IFB preachers. I put you all on notice!!! I have one more post regarding the death of my Mother In Law then I will make the final decision about revealing his identity and church.
For those that are looking for God and Truth. I'm right there with you!! God Bless!!
Here is one of my personal sayings, and you can quote me: "I would rather be an Honest Sinner than a Fake Saint!"
(Now I have to get back to work before I get in trouble).
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Part 7.1 Interim update
First . . . To those that have emailed me some encouraging words . . . thank you and my our Lord also bless you. Been quite busy, sorry for the delay. I did manage to enlist in the National Guard so I am back in the service and I'm pretty excited. I will be attempting to continue my story by posting by the end of the month.
Friday, June 06, 2008
Part 7: "God, if that’s the kind of God you are, kill me now! KILL ME NOW!"
(Phew! Had to read my own post to remind me where I left off).
Ok, by this time I had to do something. I discussed this with my wife and we decided to leave the church the following Sunday. We were just miserable. We went to Sunday school and normal worship service then approached the preacher and told him we needed to speak with him as soon as possible. We entered his office, sat down and proceeded to explain to him that we were no longer happy. (Silly me, I used the word happy. I have this foolish idea that going to church should make me joyful and happy, true on occasion it should cause internal self-examination and conviction under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, but mostly it should be happy right? It is the Gospel aka "Good News" not the "Good News but you will feel guilty and miserable until you die and get to heaven" --sorry I digress) I told him I was no longer being fed, that my feelings toward the IFB denomination had shifted. I no longer believed in the IFB doctrine of tithing: 10% of your Gross Income (not including offerings, Faith Promise etc). I no longer was convinced that the "KJV-Only" stance was appropriate, and I was just plain tired of it all! (Where was the "easy yoke"? The light burden?) And for the sake of my family and our spiritual well-being we felt we had to leave the church. My wife's attitude towards church had become so negative that her stomach hurt every time Sunday morning rolled around. The Pastor's reaction was calm and collected. He wished that I had come to him sooner to discuss these matters with him. (A valid point I suppose, but what was he going to tell me that I had not already heard? What verses in KJV Scripture was he going to point to that I had not already seen? Indeed, the very verses I myself used when preaching/teaching on these exact issues). Well, as expected he wasn't thrilled to see us go. He asked that I not speak to anyone regarding the subjects of tithing/"KJV Only". That I leave without causing controversy (after all, I was until recently the Adult Sunday School teacher) I assured him that was not my intent. I wasn't going to stir any strife or try and convince anyone in the church to come and join me in my new beliefs. If they asked why I left I would defer. (I couldn't help but imagine church members dropping on the floor convulsing violently as I told them why I was leaving --got to admit that would be a little funny). My wife stood up first and went out to the auditorium and started to cry while I said our final farewell to the pastor. It was a sad moment, we both considered many in our church as "family". (It turned out that, except for a few members, most of the church members kind of left us alone sort of like "out of sight, out of mind").
What followed was perhaps one of the darkest episodes of my Christian life. We tried to do what we thought was the right thing and find a different church that would be a little more . . . what's the term . . . "user-friendly?" (I know some of you are thinking: "Sinfully Liberal") We tried some Southern Baptist churches and the like but found they didn't meet our spiritual needs. What I was looking for was a "thinking" or perhaps a better phrase is "intellectually open-minded and historically practical" church. I was looking for a "teacher" not a "Hell-Fire and Brimstone Preacher". I knew the Gospel, I knew about salvation and hell. I had the milk, I wanted some meat. (Ok, hard to put in words what I'm looking for but here is a litmus test: I want a church where I can ask the following question and not get stoned with Hymnals: "It sounds like Preterist view answers a great deal of the questions regarding the 2nd coming of Christ, can we discuss it's merit during Sunday School?", this will let me know 2 things: 1- Does the leadership know what Preterism is? If they do, then there is evidence of some theological training, if not I flag the church as a potentially "Intellectually Bereft" or a product of "Intellectual/Theological In-Breeding" --a pet peeve that I will get into later. 2- Are they courageous enough to examine an alternative view point and give it a fair shot or they going to say "Not just No, but Heaven No!" . . . well they wouldn't say the other thing would they?). Well we tried and tried. We took a couple of Sundays off and spent some family time. All the while I had growing feelings of guilt and anger. Guilt because of not "being in church" and anger in part because of the demand of "being in church" --which turned around and created even more guilt for being angry, which created more anger, which . . .well you see the cycle. The other source of anger was due to the disillusionment and difficulty in finding believers that were "Like-Minded". (Yep, in this part of the state of #### there are maybe 2 Catholic churches, oogles of Baptist and Pentacostal/Charasmatic churches.) In the meantime, my wife's parents (remember they are hardcore IFB missionaries) were not too happy or supportive (Ya think!?). The ringing echoes of past preaching messages on the topic of rebelling against God began their destructive affects on me. I kept expecting God to kill one of my kids, or maybe God will be merciful and only cause me to lose my job. Or my car's engine will blow up, or our house will catch on fire, or . . . [insert God's judgment here]. Finally, I broke. Driving home one evening by myself I was looking up and praying desperately to God to show me what church, or which way to go. I started to unload on God. Wondering why it was so difficult. I finally snapped and said "Ok God, if that's is how you are, then kill me now! Let me have an accident at the next intersection, and just take me home! If that's the kind of God you are I don't want any part of this. Kill me! KILL ME!!! (Yes, I was yelling at the top of my lungs as I drove, I'm sure someone would have thought me insane had they seen me.) The natural progression after this (for me anyways) was to think about helping God out by driving my car into an embankment or into a river (aka suicide), but thank God, I was (and am) too chicken to go through with it. More coming soon . . .
Ok, by this time I had to do something. I discussed this with my wife and we decided to leave the church the following Sunday. We were just miserable. We went to Sunday school and normal worship service then approached the preacher and told him we needed to speak with him as soon as possible. We entered his office, sat down and proceeded to explain to him that we were no longer happy. (Silly me, I used the word happy. I have this foolish idea that going to church should make me joyful and happy, true on occasion it should cause internal self-examination and conviction under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, but mostly it should be happy right? It is the Gospel aka "Good News" not the "Good News but you will feel guilty and miserable until you die and get to heaven" --sorry I digress) I told him I was no longer being fed, that my feelings toward the IFB denomination had shifted. I no longer believed in the IFB doctrine of tithing: 10% of your Gross Income (not including offerings, Faith Promise etc). I no longer was convinced that the "KJV-Only" stance was appropriate, and I was just plain tired of it all! (Where was the "easy yoke"? The light burden?) And for the sake of my family and our spiritual well-being we felt we had to leave the church. My wife's attitude towards church had become so negative that her stomach hurt every time Sunday morning rolled around. The Pastor's reaction was calm and collected. He wished that I had come to him sooner to discuss these matters with him. (A valid point I suppose, but what was he going to tell me that I had not already heard? What verses in KJV Scripture was he going to point to that I had not already seen? Indeed, the very verses I myself used when preaching/teaching on these exact issues). Well, as expected he wasn't thrilled to see us go. He asked that I not speak to anyone regarding the subjects of tithing/"KJV Only". That I leave without causing controversy (after all, I was until recently the Adult Sunday School teacher) I assured him that was not my intent. I wasn't going to stir any strife or try and convince anyone in the church to come and join me in my new beliefs. If they asked why I left I would defer. (I couldn't help but imagine church members dropping on the floor convulsing violently as I told them why I was leaving --got to admit that would be a little funny). My wife stood up first and went out to the auditorium and started to cry while I said our final farewell to the pastor. It was a sad moment, we both considered many in our church as "family". (It turned out that, except for a few members, most of the church members kind of left us alone sort of like "out of sight, out of mind").
What followed was perhaps one of the darkest episodes of my Christian life. We tried to do what we thought was the right thing and find a different church that would be a little more . . . what's the term . . . "user-friendly?" (I know some of you are thinking: "Sinfully Liberal") We tried some Southern Baptist churches and the like but found they didn't meet our spiritual needs. What I was looking for was a "thinking" or perhaps a better phrase is "intellectually open-minded and historically practical" church. I was looking for a "teacher" not a "Hell-Fire and Brimstone Preacher". I knew the Gospel, I knew about salvation and hell. I had the milk, I wanted some meat. (Ok, hard to put in words what I'm looking for but here is a litmus test: I want a church where I can ask the following question and not get stoned with Hymnals: "It sounds like Preterist view answers a great deal of the questions regarding the 2nd coming of Christ, can we discuss it's merit during Sunday School?", this will let me know 2 things: 1- Does the leadership know what Preterism is? If they do, then there is evidence of some theological training, if not I flag the church as a potentially "Intellectually Bereft" or a product of "Intellectual/Theological In-Breeding" --a pet peeve that I will get into later. 2- Are they courageous enough to examine an alternative view point and give it a fair shot or they going to say "Not just No, but Heaven No!" . . . well they wouldn't say the other thing would they?). Well we tried and tried. We took a couple of Sundays off and spent some family time. All the while I had growing feelings of guilt and anger. Guilt because of not "being in church" and anger in part because of the demand of "being in church" --which turned around and created even more guilt for being angry, which created more anger, which . . .well you see the cycle. The other source of anger was due to the disillusionment and difficulty in finding believers that were "Like-Minded". (Yep, in this part of the state of #### there are maybe 2 Catholic churches, oogles of Baptist and Pentacostal/Charasmatic churches.) In the meantime, my wife's parents (remember they are hardcore IFB missionaries) were not too happy or supportive (Ya think!?). The ringing echoes of past preaching messages on the topic of rebelling against God began their destructive affects on me. I kept expecting God to kill one of my kids, or maybe God will be merciful and only cause me to lose my job. Or my car's engine will blow up, or our house will catch on fire, or . . . [insert God's judgment here]. Finally, I broke. Driving home one evening by myself I was looking up and praying desperately to God to show me what church, or which way to go. I started to unload on God. Wondering why it was so difficult. I finally snapped and said "Ok God, if that's is how you are, then kill me now! Let me have an accident at the next intersection, and just take me home! If that's the kind of God you are I don't want any part of this. Kill me! KILL ME!!! (Yes, I was yelling at the top of my lungs as I drove, I'm sure someone would have thought me insane had they seen me.) The natural progression after this (for me anyways) was to think about helping God out by driving my car into an embankment or into a river (aka suicide), but thank God, I was (and am) too chicken to go through with it. More coming soon . . .
Monday, May 05, 2008
Part 6.5
I'm ALIVE!! God did not kill me! (Thank you Lord for putting up with my foolishness, I'm sure other people don't act like this.)
Ok, Part 7 is coming real soon. I just have to secure the movie rights and enlist Spielberg as director. Seriously though, a lot has happened since my last post. I almost lost one of my boys due to Ketoacidocis. My mother-in-law passed away in a very . . . well . . . let's just say it was not peaceful. My wife is taking it real hard (yes, her mom is the same one that treated her like an outcast because she wore pants). Her dad (IFBx preacher) is beside himself, wanting to know why God let her die when all she ever did is live for him. Me, I think I'm turning Calvinist and Preterist (Oh boy, now I've done it! I've really rocked the boat). Also trying to join the National Guard, gotta lose some pounds though!
Ok, Part 7 is coming real soon. I just have to secure the movie rights and enlist Spielberg as director. Seriously though, a lot has happened since my last post. I almost lost one of my boys due to Ketoacidocis. My mother-in-law passed away in a very . . . well . . . let's just say it was not peaceful. My wife is taking it real hard (yes, her mom is the same one that treated her like an outcast because she wore pants). Her dad (IFBx preacher) is beside himself, wanting to know why God let her die when all she ever did is live for him. Me, I think I'm turning Calvinist and Preterist (Oh boy, now I've done it! I've really rocked the boat). Also trying to join the National Guard, gotta lose some pounds though!
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Part 6: “Going to church: like a cow showing up at a slaughterhouse”
Ok, so there I was tired, burned-out, feeling like a mindless stooge about tithing and the KJV only issues. I had put Sunday School teaching on hold due to my college work and consequently felt like the Pastor didn’t quite like me like before. (I know that’s petty but feelings are feelings.) I began to starve spiritually, the messages were all about "serve, Serve, SERVE!"
I wanted, no needed, encouragement, exhortation and edification but I wasn’t getting any. My acceptance seemed to be tied to my performance. That seemed to be the entire gist of most of my Christian life. "Saved by Grace, blessed (and consequently liked) by performance." It seemed the way of the IFB and that’s the God they taught me to serve. Church was becoming the primary source of misery. Our kids were picking up on this. We started missing services because of the sheer misery we felt when we went. There was absolutely no joy. It was gone. I tried to eat so to speak at the spiritual table. I remember vividly when the pastor was preaching about the woman caught in adultery and how the Lord said he that is without sin cast the first stone. I got excited. I thought, "Yes! Let’s hear of the marvelous grace of our Lord Jesus!" Only to have the pastor turn it around and preach against sin, hellfire and damnation.
We started going for drives on Sunday morning. We would get all dressed for church, load up in the car and then drive by church and keep on going. We would drive out of town so we can legitimately say "we went out of town last Sunday" when asked. It was refreshing to us as a family. We started to miss Wednesday services as well. It made Wednesday’s a lot easier. Kids got to bed at an appropriate time, I got my college assignments done, and we all got to sleep more that night.
I was getting more miserable and disillusioned as the Sundays kept coming and going. I started questioning the structure of our services and invitations and wondered how many people got saved in their seats by simply believing silently to themselves versus those that were "compelled" to walk the aisle. I started to wonder if we had become so rigid and mindless that we no longer thought for ourselves. I sat through services that twisted scripture in an effort to guilt people into giving. One mission conference the visiting preacher told everyone to think of an amount to give to missions, then double it. He warned them not to go home and do the math and see what they can afford because that’s when the devil and the flesh influence you against giving. I thought to myself how tragic, we throw wisdom and scripture to the wind and we call it being "led by the Spirit". I started to notice the right-wing conspiracies that were rampant, from the "Y2K- Here comes the Anti-Christ" to the "government checks that require the appropriate mark on your right hand or forehead in order to cash them." I started to notice the arrogance from the pulpit, the "I’m glad I have a ticket to heaven/rapture and this world is going to hell" attitude. I simply couldn’t find Jesus in the pulpit anymore. He wasn’t there.
Next Week, Part 7: "God, if that’s the kind of God you are, kill me now! KILL ME NOW!"
I wanted, no needed, encouragement, exhortation and edification but I wasn’t getting any. My acceptance seemed to be tied to my performance. That seemed to be the entire gist of most of my Christian life. "Saved by Grace, blessed (and consequently liked) by performance." It seemed the way of the IFB and that’s the God they taught me to serve. Church was becoming the primary source of misery. Our kids were picking up on this. We started missing services because of the sheer misery we felt when we went. There was absolutely no joy. It was gone. I tried to eat so to speak at the spiritual table. I remember vividly when the pastor was preaching about the woman caught in adultery and how the Lord said he that is without sin cast the first stone. I got excited. I thought, "Yes! Let’s hear of the marvelous grace of our Lord Jesus!" Only to have the pastor turn it around and preach against sin, hellfire and damnation.
We started going for drives on Sunday morning. We would get all dressed for church, load up in the car and then drive by church and keep on going. We would drive out of town so we can legitimately say "we went out of town last Sunday" when asked. It was refreshing to us as a family. We started to miss Wednesday services as well. It made Wednesday’s a lot easier. Kids got to bed at an appropriate time, I got my college assignments done, and we all got to sleep more that night.
I was getting more miserable and disillusioned as the Sundays kept coming and going. I started questioning the structure of our services and invitations and wondered how many people got saved in their seats by simply believing silently to themselves versus those that were "compelled" to walk the aisle. I started to wonder if we had become so rigid and mindless that we no longer thought for ourselves. I sat through services that twisted scripture in an effort to guilt people into giving. One mission conference the visiting preacher told everyone to think of an amount to give to missions, then double it. He warned them not to go home and do the math and see what they can afford because that’s when the devil and the flesh influence you against giving. I thought to myself how tragic, we throw wisdom and scripture to the wind and we call it being "led by the Spirit". I started to notice the right-wing conspiracies that were rampant, from the "Y2K- Here comes the Anti-Christ" to the "government checks that require the appropriate mark on your right hand or forehead in order to cash them." I started to notice the arrogance from the pulpit, the "I’m glad I have a ticket to heaven/rapture and this world is going to hell" attitude. I simply couldn’t find Jesus in the pulpit anymore. He wasn’t there.
Next Week, Part 7: "God, if that’s the kind of God you are, kill me now! KILL ME NOW!"
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Part 5: “Now about this KJV-Only-ism . . .”
Warning: Sacred-Cow alert. If you are afraid turn back now!
Fine, don’t say I didn’t warn you!
Of all the issues I have covered so far, reading and or encouraging the reading of a different version of the Bible would alienate me the most from my In-Laws or most of the IFB’s I’ve ever known. Some are so zealous on the subject they wouldn’t hesitate using physical violence. I know I was one of them.
After examining the issue of tithing I started to wonder if there was anything else I may have been mislead on. So I turned to the issue of KJV Only-ism. I had been taught by my IFB mentors about the evils of modern translations. I had also read a couple of books. “Let’s weigh the Evidence” published by Jack T. Chick; “The Answer Book” by Samuel C. Gipp. Even examined a book by Peter Ruckman. I had taught against the NIV, ASV, and several others during my tenure as Sunday School teacher. Often citing scriptures that omitted words that the KJV did not omit. I often summed up my teaching with totals like “the NIV omits the words ‘son of God’ [x] amount of times, the word ‘God’ [x] times, and denies the deity of Christ [x] times!” (Where [x] is some number I can’t remember.) I started examining this issue with the same “reset button” mentality as before.
I’ll sum up my findings but encourage those who would want to know for themselves to research this. The internet is a great resource.
First some basic groundwork. There are basically 2 or 3 different styles of biblical translations depending on who you talk to; Formal Equivalence (aka Literal), Dynamic Equivalence, and some have argued, Paraphrase. The Formal Equivalence style attempts to translate from the manuscripts word for word and often ends up being very accurate but can be difficult to understand due to word usage changing over time. The KJV, NKJV, RSV, NRSV, NAS are considered Formal Equivalence translations. The Dynamic Equivalence versions; NIV, NAB, NEB, attempt to preserve the general meaning of the verse and often use words understood by the target audience but sometimes at the expense of accuracy.
Whew! That’s more technical than I wanted to get, sorry about that. Ok, so I started to do some research. I revisited the spiritual arguments of the KJV only people that the Wescott and Hort/Alexandrian manuscripts came out of Egypt and that nothing good has ever come out of Egypt. Egypt represents the world, the world is evil etc. And of course most modern translations are based on these corrupt manuscripts. Also most IFB’s/KJV- Only defenders argue that older manuscripts are not always better. Some IFB’s will even choose the KJV over the original Greek and Hebrew texts when they disagree with the beloved KJV. Some even go as far as saying that the KJV translators were practically inspired by God. Then I found something interesting that I have not been able to disprove: the original preface to the King James Version 1611. (You can Google this for yourself using the following phrases: “Preface to the King James Version 1611” or “Translators to the Reader”. Or use the links on the left. I plan on creating a blog dedicated to this so check back soon.) The preface is written in King James English but that shouldn’t stop any good IFB/KJV-Only advocate from understanding it. After all they argue that the KJV is written somewhere between a 7th – 9th grade level. In it the translators stated the following:
“Now in such a case, doth not a margin do well to admonish the Reader to seek further, and not to conclude or dogmatize upon this or that peremptorily? For as it is a fault of incredulity, to doubt of those things that are evident: so to determine of such things as the Spirit of God hath left (even in the judgement of the judicious) questionable, can be no less than presumption. Therefore as S. Augustine saith, that variety of Translations is profitable for the finding out of the sense of the Scriptures: so diversity of signification and sense in the margin, where the text is not so clear, must needs do good, yea, is necessary, as we are persuaded”
Ok guys, you are NOT helping the KJV-Only movement with talk like this! Get with the program!!
So the translators themselves recommend a “variety of Translations”. Then I also read in the section titled,
“An Answer To The Imputations Of Our Adversaries”, apparently they also had their share of critics denouncing them for creating a new “modern” translation:
“Now to the latter we answer; that we do not deny, nay we affirm and avow, that the very meanest translation of the Bible in English, set forth by men of our profession (for we have seen none of theirs of the whole Bible as yet), containeth the word of God, nay, is the word of God.”
Guys! Your killing me! Stop it! Your telling me that the “meanest” (def: common, low in quality or grade) is to be considered the word of God? So if the NIV existed in your time you would read it and regard it with respect? Then the clinchers:
About correcting translations:
“But the difference that appeareth between our Translations, and our often correcting of them, is the thing that we are specially charged with; let us see therefore whether they themselves be without fault this way (if it be to be counted a fault, to correct), and whether they be fit men to throw stones at us: O tandem major parcas insane minori: they that are less sound themselves, ought not to object infirmities to others.”
“Yet before we end, we must answer a third cavil [quibble] and objection of theirs against us, for altering and amending our Translations so oft; wherein truly they deal hardly and strangely with us. For to whom ever was it imputed for a fault (by such as were wise) to go over that which he had done, and to amend it where he saw cause?”
About a “perfect” translation:
“There be many words in the Scriptures, which be never found there but once (having neither brother nor neighbor, as the Hebrews speak), so that we cannot be holpen by conference of places. Again, there be many rare names of certain birds, beasts, and precious stones, &c., concerning which the Hebrews themselves are so divided among themselves for judgement, that they may seem to have defined this or that, rather because they would say something, than because they were sure of that which they said, as S. Jerome somewhere saith of the Septuagint.”
“…it hath pleased God in his divine providence, here and there to scatter words and sentences of that difficulty and doubtfulness, not in doctrinal points that concern salvation (for in such it hath been vouched that the Scriptures are plain), but in matters of less moment, that fearfulness would better beseem us than confidence, …”
Ok, that’s it! Now you’re telling me it is ok to correct a translation in general? Your translation too? Your KJV translation? You then tell me that it is impossible to ever have a “perfect” English translation due to the nature of language? Or perhaps God did this on purpose so we can be humbled and fear him? Stop!! I don’t want to hear anymore! You KJV translators are heretics!! Ungodly men! You need to repent and get right!! (I’m being sardonic of course.)
So what is my point? I’ll sum it up for you. I enjoy the King James. It is still my favorite version. I love how it reads, the majestic sound of the King James English. However, I am not afraid to study out of other versions and now recommend it so you can have a complete “sense of the scriptures” (KJV translators). Obviously there are some versions that are better than others and some versions are just plain wrong (e.g. The New World Translation by the Jehovah’s Witnesses read John 1:1 “ a god?”) I have found liberty and strength in this. Let me explain:
Their used to be a time (when I was a KJV only man) when some of the smallest things would tear me apart because of my belief in a "perfect" translated version. An example that turned my faith upside down for a several days was when the New Testament referred to the Holy Spirit as an "it" in John 1:32. After all only Jehovah Witnesses did that.
Another example is the difference between Matthew and Mark when the Lord is sending the disciples to go forth to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.
Matthew 10:10 KJV reads:
Nor scrip for your journey, neither two coats, neither shoes, nor yet staves: for the workman is worthy of his meat.
Mark 6:8 KJV: And commanded them that they should take nothing for their journey, save a staff only; no scrip, no bread, no money in their purse;
Mark 6:9 KJV: But be shod with sandals; and not put on two coats.
Did Jesus want them to wear sandals or not? Take a staff or not?
Now granted I'll even succumb to the notion that in Matthew the Lord said no to shoes but in Mark he said yes to sandals, because the underlying Greek words are different. However if perfection is what we are after why not clarify in Matthew or Mark for that matter. But the stave and staff are from the same Greek word. Wait, these are 2 different events, so never mind? When just about every commentary I've read agrees that this is the same event? Granted they could be wrong (man often is), but I don't know about that.
My point is this, stuff like this doesn't bother me anymore. I'm grounded in the Lord, I've matured in my faith. I believe in the fundamentals. But take a Christian, a young Christian who believes that a certain translation is God's perfect revelation and he may struggle over this. And yes before you ask I do believe that God has preserved his word. It has been said that all manuscripts (or witnesses as some call them) of the Bible agree with each other 99% of the time. That is an awesome statistic!
It has been said by Doug Kutilek on his examination of the “Roots of the KJV Controversy” that the KJV only movement was started by a Seventh-Day Adventist. I have not been able to disprove this either. Is there any historical record of the KJV-Only controversy before 1930? If so please let me know in the comments of this blog. If the Seventh-Day Adventist origin is true (and I believe it is) how ironic! That the IFB KJV-Only movement was started by a Seventh-Day Adventist. Someone slap me with a stupid stick!
Next week: Part 6: “Going to church: like a cow showing up at a slaughterhouse”
Fine, don’t say I didn’t warn you!
Of all the issues I have covered so far, reading and or encouraging the reading of a different version of the Bible would alienate me the most from my In-Laws or most of the IFB’s I’ve ever known. Some are so zealous on the subject they wouldn’t hesitate using physical violence. I know I was one of them.
After examining the issue of tithing I started to wonder if there was anything else I may have been mislead on. So I turned to the issue of KJV Only-ism. I had been taught by my IFB mentors about the evils of modern translations. I had also read a couple of books. “Let’s weigh the Evidence” published by Jack T. Chick; “The Answer Book” by Samuel C. Gipp. Even examined a book by Peter Ruckman. I had taught against the NIV, ASV, and several others during my tenure as Sunday School teacher. Often citing scriptures that omitted words that the KJV did not omit. I often summed up my teaching with totals like “the NIV omits the words ‘son of God’ [x] amount of times, the word ‘God’ [x] times, and denies the deity of Christ [x] times!” (Where [x] is some number I can’t remember.) I started examining this issue with the same “reset button” mentality as before.
I’ll sum up my findings but encourage those who would want to know for themselves to research this. The internet is a great resource.
First some basic groundwork. There are basically 2 or 3 different styles of biblical translations depending on who you talk to; Formal Equivalence (aka Literal), Dynamic Equivalence, and some have argued, Paraphrase. The Formal Equivalence style attempts to translate from the manuscripts word for word and often ends up being very accurate but can be difficult to understand due to word usage changing over time. The KJV, NKJV, RSV, NRSV, NAS are considered Formal Equivalence translations. The Dynamic Equivalence versions; NIV, NAB, NEB, attempt to preserve the general meaning of the verse and often use words understood by the target audience but sometimes at the expense of accuracy.
Whew! That’s more technical than I wanted to get, sorry about that. Ok, so I started to do some research. I revisited the spiritual arguments of the KJV only people that the Wescott and Hort/Alexandrian manuscripts came out of Egypt and that nothing good has ever come out of Egypt. Egypt represents the world, the world is evil etc. And of course most modern translations are based on these corrupt manuscripts. Also most IFB’s/KJV- Only defenders argue that older manuscripts are not always better. Some IFB’s will even choose the KJV over the original Greek and Hebrew texts when they disagree with the beloved KJV. Some even go as far as saying that the KJV translators were practically inspired by God. Then I found something interesting that I have not been able to disprove: the original preface to the King James Version 1611. (You can Google this for yourself using the following phrases: “Preface to the King James Version 1611” or “Translators to the Reader”. Or use the links on the left. I plan on creating a blog dedicated to this so check back soon.) The preface is written in King James English but that shouldn’t stop any good IFB/KJV-Only advocate from understanding it. After all they argue that the KJV is written somewhere between a 7th – 9th grade level. In it the translators stated the following:
“Now in such a case, doth not a margin do well to admonish the Reader to seek further, and not to conclude or dogmatize upon this or that peremptorily? For as it is a fault of incredulity, to doubt of those things that are evident: so to determine of such things as the Spirit of God hath left (even in the judgement of the judicious) questionable, can be no less than presumption. Therefore as S. Augustine saith, that variety of Translations is profitable for the finding out of the sense of the Scriptures: so diversity of signification and sense in the margin, where the text is not so clear, must needs do good, yea, is necessary, as we are persuaded”
Ok guys, you are NOT helping the KJV-Only movement with talk like this! Get with the program!!
So the translators themselves recommend a “variety of Translations”. Then I also read in the section titled,
“An Answer To The Imputations Of Our Adversaries”, apparently they also had their share of critics denouncing them for creating a new “modern” translation:
“Now to the latter we answer; that we do not deny, nay we affirm and avow, that the very meanest translation of the Bible in English, set forth by men of our profession (for we have seen none of theirs of the whole Bible as yet), containeth the word of God, nay, is the word of God.”
Guys! Your killing me! Stop it! Your telling me that the “meanest” (def: common, low in quality or grade) is to be considered the word of God? So if the NIV existed in your time you would read it and regard it with respect? Then the clinchers:
About correcting translations:
“But the difference that appeareth between our Translations, and our often correcting of them, is the thing that we are specially charged with; let us see therefore whether they themselves be without fault this way (if it be to be counted a fault, to correct), and whether they be fit men to throw stones at us: O tandem major parcas insane minori: they that are less sound themselves, ought not to object infirmities to others.”
“Yet before we end, we must answer a third cavil [quibble] and objection of theirs against us, for altering and amending our Translations so oft; wherein truly they deal hardly and strangely with us. For to whom ever was it imputed for a fault (by such as were wise) to go over that which he had done, and to amend it where he saw cause?”
About a “perfect” translation:
“There be many words in the Scriptures, which be never found there but once (having neither brother nor neighbor, as the Hebrews speak), so that we cannot be holpen by conference of places. Again, there be many rare names of certain birds, beasts, and precious stones, &c., concerning which the Hebrews themselves are so divided among themselves for judgement, that they may seem to have defined this or that, rather because they would say something, than because they were sure of that which they said, as S. Jerome somewhere saith of the Septuagint.”
“…it hath pleased God in his divine providence, here and there to scatter words and sentences of that difficulty and doubtfulness, not in doctrinal points that concern salvation (for in such it hath been vouched that the Scriptures are plain), but in matters of less moment, that fearfulness would better beseem us than confidence, …”
Ok, that’s it! Now you’re telling me it is ok to correct a translation in general? Your translation too? Your KJV translation? You then tell me that it is impossible to ever have a “perfect” English translation due to the nature of language? Or perhaps God did this on purpose so we can be humbled and fear him? Stop!! I don’t want to hear anymore! You KJV translators are heretics!! Ungodly men! You need to repent and get right!! (I’m being sardonic of course.)
So what is my point? I’ll sum it up for you. I enjoy the King James. It is still my favorite version. I love how it reads, the majestic sound of the King James English. However, I am not afraid to study out of other versions and now recommend it so you can have a complete “sense of the scriptures” (KJV translators). Obviously there are some versions that are better than others and some versions are just plain wrong (e.g. The New World Translation by the Jehovah’s Witnesses read John 1:1 “ a god?”) I have found liberty and strength in this. Let me explain:
Their used to be a time (when I was a KJV only man) when some of the smallest things would tear me apart because of my belief in a "perfect" translated version. An example that turned my faith upside down for a several days was when the New Testament referred to the Holy Spirit as an "it" in John 1:32. After all only Jehovah Witnesses did that.
Another example is the difference between Matthew and Mark when the Lord is sending the disciples to go forth to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.
Matthew 10:10 KJV reads:
Nor scrip for your journey, neither two coats, neither shoes, nor yet staves: for the workman is worthy of his meat.
Mark 6:8 KJV: And commanded them that they should take nothing for their journey, save a staff only; no scrip, no bread, no money in their purse;
Mark 6:9 KJV: But be shod with sandals; and not put on two coats.
Did Jesus want them to wear sandals or not? Take a staff or not?
Now granted I'll even succumb to the notion that in Matthew the Lord said no to shoes but in Mark he said yes to sandals, because the underlying Greek words are different. However if perfection is what we are after why not clarify in Matthew or Mark for that matter. But the stave and staff are from the same Greek word. Wait, these are 2 different events, so never mind? When just about every commentary I've read agrees that this is the same event? Granted they could be wrong (man often is), but I don't know about that.
My point is this, stuff like this doesn't bother me anymore. I'm grounded in the Lord, I've matured in my faith. I believe in the fundamentals. But take a Christian, a young Christian who believes that a certain translation is God's perfect revelation and he may struggle over this. And yes before you ask I do believe that God has preserved his word. It has been said that all manuscripts (or witnesses as some call them) of the Bible agree with each other 99% of the time. That is an awesome statistic!
It has been said by Doug Kutilek on his examination of the “Roots of the KJV Controversy” that the KJV only movement was started by a Seventh-Day Adventist. I have not been able to disprove this either. Is there any historical record of the KJV-Only controversy before 1930? If so please let me know in the comments of this blog. If the Seventh-Day Adventist origin is true (and I believe it is) how ironic! That the IFB KJV-Only movement was started by a Seventh-Day Adventist. Someone slap me with a stupid stick!
Next week: Part 6: “Going to church: like a cow showing up at a slaughterhouse”
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Part 4: “Pastor, I’m giving you my 2 weeks notice”
I needed to speak to another brother in Christ to validate my findings on tithing. I needed to find someone who wouldn’t just spout the "party" line about tithing. You know
"Abraham tithed so that proves it was outside of the OT Law."
"The local church is the local storehouse of Malachi 3:10."
"Preachers are the spiritual successors to the Levites/Priests."
"Tithing is a spiritual principal taught throughout the bible."
(So is a blood sacrifice but Christians don’t need to do that.)
There was one brother who I was friends with that actually used his God given mind to think things through. He was one of the few that didn’t fall for the whole "Y2K Tribulation Panic" that took hold of a lot of believers in 1999. I’ll call him Bro. D to protect his identity.
I invited Bro. D and his wife over for dinner with the intent of sitting down afterwards and going through my print out and all the scriptures. I wanted him to counter me every step of the way and expose my fallacy or heresy, as some would call it. So after dinner Bro. D and I sat down and we started. I warned him that my intent was not to change his mind but for him to change my mind. When we came to the end of the print out I looked up at him and asked him what he thought. He paused and looked up at me and said, "You’re right."
Ok, I needed to regroup. Here was a brother who just validated my conclusions about tithing. I had thoughts of excommunication and inquisition all at the hands of my IFB in-laws. But here I was at a crossroads, facing the Red Pill offered by Morpheus, (No, Morpheus isn’t some sort of demonic character, he’s one of the main characters in The Matrix. A movie about . . . you know what, if you’re a hardcore IFB you’ll never watch it so never mind). So I took the Red Pill. And If I was wrong and the IFB preachers were right, I would meet up with the "devourer". (Hey, read it for yourself in Mal 3.11.) The devourer would cause havoc on my finances, cause my car engine to blow up, my washing machine to go on the fritz and my microwave oven to scorch my popcorn. Well that’s what the IFB preachers told me. So be it. I prayed and talked to God and decided on 5% of my income, and waited, . . .waited for the devourer to knock on my door.
As I waited for "devourer" (sounds like a WWF wrestling character), I continued to teach the Adult Sunday school class and lead songs in church. Then it suddenly occurred to me that I was in violation of the Church by Laws and Constitution that stated that all church members in leadership positions must tithe. Having a good conscience toward God and man, or at least trying to, it didn’t sit well with me that I was sneaking around the Pastor’s back and not tithing while holding a leadership position. Even though I didn’t believe in tithing anymore I still had agreed to these by laws when I became a member. So it continued to bug me. On the one hand I could confess and resign and be a church outcast, or I can continue to sneak behind the pastors back, or I can give an additional 5% and hold on to my teaching position. The latter option basically amounted to me "paying" if you will, to teach. I wasn’t ready to tell the Pastor what my belief was on tithing. I already had enough trouble from my in-laws. So I met with the Pastor and told him I was tired. I said that my senior year in college was tough and I wasn’t able to spend as much time as I would like preparing for the Sunday school lesson therefore I was cheating the body of Christ by not giving my 100%. All of this was true. I was burnt out and simply wanted a break. I told him I was stepping down and that I would give him 2 weeks to find a replacement for the Adult Sunday school. I would continue to lead songs if he wanted me to. He received the news kind of coldly and replied with a simple casual "Ok".
A couple of things happened after that day that hastened my departure from church. On an unrelated issue my wife sought counsel from our pastor and during the counseling session he informed her that my college education is not of God. He stated firmly that since college was responsible for taking me away from teaching Sunday School then it was not of God. So if it was not of God then what other possible source could it come from? Satan? You mean the devil is sending me to college? Paying the tuition and books? During my 4-year college career only 2 IFB brothers in the whole church actually encouraged me and told me to keep going that it will be worth it upon graduation. And neither of those 2 were the pastor. Another thing I noticed was when I stopped teaching I stopped growing. I would attend church and get preached at but I wasn’t getting taught. I felt spiritually malnourished. Every time the preacher was about to hit on something that I thought would be edifying he would default to "hell, fire and brimstone" or "serve" or "give" or "forsake not the assembling of ourselves." Instead of getting built up, I was constantly told I was found wanting. Oh, incidentally, the "devourer" never came, my car engine kept running fine, and my washing machine kept going, however, my microwave did scorch my popcorn but that was my bad.
Part 5: "Now about this KJV-Only-ism . . ."
"Abraham tithed so that proves it was outside of the OT Law."
"The local church is the local storehouse of Malachi 3:10."
"Preachers are the spiritual successors to the Levites/Priests."
"Tithing is a spiritual principal taught throughout the bible."
(So is a blood sacrifice but Christians don’t need to do that.)
There was one brother who I was friends with that actually used his God given mind to think things through. He was one of the few that didn’t fall for the whole "Y2K Tribulation Panic" that took hold of a lot of believers in 1999. I’ll call him Bro. D to protect his identity.
I invited Bro. D and his wife over for dinner with the intent of sitting down afterwards and going through my print out and all the scriptures. I wanted him to counter me every step of the way and expose my fallacy or heresy, as some would call it. So after dinner Bro. D and I sat down and we started. I warned him that my intent was not to change his mind but for him to change my mind. When we came to the end of the print out I looked up at him and asked him what he thought. He paused and looked up at me and said, "You’re right."
Ok, I needed to regroup. Here was a brother who just validated my conclusions about tithing. I had thoughts of excommunication and inquisition all at the hands of my IFB in-laws. But here I was at a crossroads, facing the Red Pill offered by Morpheus, (No, Morpheus isn’t some sort of demonic character, he’s one of the main characters in The Matrix. A movie about . . . you know what, if you’re a hardcore IFB you’ll never watch it so never mind). So I took the Red Pill. And If I was wrong and the IFB preachers were right, I would meet up with the "devourer". (Hey, read it for yourself in Mal 3.11.) The devourer would cause havoc on my finances, cause my car engine to blow up, my washing machine to go on the fritz and my microwave oven to scorch my popcorn. Well that’s what the IFB preachers told me. So be it. I prayed and talked to God and decided on 5% of my income, and waited, . . .waited for the devourer to knock on my door.
As I waited for "devourer" (sounds like a WWF wrestling character), I continued to teach the Adult Sunday school class and lead songs in church. Then it suddenly occurred to me that I was in violation of the Church by Laws and Constitution that stated that all church members in leadership positions must tithe. Having a good conscience toward God and man, or at least trying to, it didn’t sit well with me that I was sneaking around the Pastor’s back and not tithing while holding a leadership position. Even though I didn’t believe in tithing anymore I still had agreed to these by laws when I became a member. So it continued to bug me. On the one hand I could confess and resign and be a church outcast, or I can continue to sneak behind the pastors back, or I can give an additional 5% and hold on to my teaching position. The latter option basically amounted to me "paying" if you will, to teach. I wasn’t ready to tell the Pastor what my belief was on tithing. I already had enough trouble from my in-laws. So I met with the Pastor and told him I was tired. I said that my senior year in college was tough and I wasn’t able to spend as much time as I would like preparing for the Sunday school lesson therefore I was cheating the body of Christ by not giving my 100%. All of this was true. I was burnt out and simply wanted a break. I told him I was stepping down and that I would give him 2 weeks to find a replacement for the Adult Sunday school. I would continue to lead songs if he wanted me to. He received the news kind of coldly and replied with a simple casual "Ok".
A couple of things happened after that day that hastened my departure from church. On an unrelated issue my wife sought counsel from our pastor and during the counseling session he informed her that my college education is not of God. He stated firmly that since college was responsible for taking me away from teaching Sunday School then it was not of God. So if it was not of God then what other possible source could it come from? Satan? You mean the devil is sending me to college? Paying the tuition and books? During my 4-year college career only 2 IFB brothers in the whole church actually encouraged me and told me to keep going that it will be worth it upon graduation. And neither of those 2 were the pastor. Another thing I noticed was when I stopped teaching I stopped growing. I would attend church and get preached at but I wasn’t getting taught. I felt spiritually malnourished. Every time the preacher was about to hit on something that I thought would be edifying he would default to "hell, fire and brimstone" or "serve" or "give" or "forsake not the assembling of ourselves." Instead of getting built up, I was constantly told I was found wanting. Oh, incidentally, the "devourer" never came, my car engine kept running fine, and my washing machine kept going, however, my microwave did scorch my popcorn but that was my bad.
Part 5: "Now about this KJV-Only-ism . . ."
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Part 3: "Lord, can you cash my $30 Best Buy rebate?"
No phone, no money, and the wrath of my IFB in-laws. Then the dumbest thing happened. As I was rumbling through the paperwork in my study (hey, all good IFB’s have a study) I found a $30 rebate certificate from Best Buy. A-Ha! The Lord doth provide. Then I saw the expiration date . . . and I hit the roof!
Yep, I lost it! The next 5 minutes were not pretty. I slammed stuff around, threw a couple of items across the room. I lost my testimony in front of my office furniture and killed some nick-nacks. I regained my composure and started to think. Did God let me down? Was there something wrong with me? (be nice) I did what the preachers said to do. Was my wife wrong for wearing pants? If I burnt my wife’s britches would God change the expiration date on my rebate coupon? Slowly, I started to realize that I had been in this situation before. Back when I was a Pentecostal and seeking the "Baptism of the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in tongues" I felt this way. God wasn’t at fault back then, and I wasn’t at fault back then. The teaching was. (Doh!)
Yep, I lost it! The next 5 minutes were not pretty. I slammed stuff around, threw a couple of items across the room. I lost my testimony in front of my office furniture and killed some nick-nacks. I regained my composure and started to think. Did God let me down? Was there something wrong with me? (be nice) I did what the preachers said to do. Was my wife wrong for wearing pants? If I burnt my wife’s britches would God change the expiration date on my rebate coupon? Slowly, I started to realize that I had been in this situation before. Back when I was a Pentecostal and seeking the "Baptism of the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in tongues" I felt this way. God wasn’t at fault back then, and I wasn’t at fault back then. The teaching was. (Doh!)
Tithing? I always took it for granted. The preachers preached it. The preachers were IFB preachers, not liberal evangelicals. Could they possible be wrong? Had I relaxed my Biblical vigil and been duped again? "Okay Lord, I’m going to hit the reset button like I do on my (then) 486DX2/66mhz computer when it locks up!" So I ran Quickverse (yes, KJV) and printed out every verse on tithing. I was going to examine each verse in its historical context, cultural context, scriptural context and spiritual context. So I started, from Genesis to Revelation. Every mention of the word "tithe", "tithes", and "tithing". From the tithe of Moses to Melchizedek in Gen. 14 to the mention of tithing by our Lord Jesus. I wanted to see for myself if it was Biblical to dogmatically mandate that a New Testament Christian has to tithe, specifically 10% of their gross income. While I would love to replicate my entire study here (not the subject of this blog) I’ll just hit the high points. (I strongly encourage the reader to duplicate this study in like manner and verify my conclusions, just remember put aside any preconceived ideas, but if you’re truly pressed for time, Google it. See link how to interpret the Bible on side bar.)
- -Abraham tithed to Melchizedek. (Gen 14:20)
- -Jacob vowed to tithe to God (Gen 28:22)
- -The tithe was standardized under the OT Law of Moses for the Jewish nation.
There were several types of tithes in many forms. They were used to support the Levites/Priests, the widows, and during certain times the tithe giver ate the tithe. (Leviticus, Deuteronomy, Numbers) - -Malachi 3:10. God using an Israelite to speak to Israelites? True. God using an Israelite to speak to a New Testament Gentile Believer? Not True. An IFB misapplying this scripture to guilt trip a Christian into giving? Bingo.
- -Jesus spoke of the tithe when addressing the non-Christian Jews. (Mat 23:23, Luk 11:42)
Now, I knew the defense to this. Using the "law of first mention" or the fact that tithing came before the OT Law was formed, thus it’s a canon. Or as one website put it so succinctly:
"Abraham Commenced it (Ge. 14:18-20). Jacob Continued it (Ge. 28:20-22). Moses Confirmed it (Le. 27:30). Malachi Commanded it (Mal. 3:10). Jesus Commended it (Mt. 23:23). God Commissioned it (1 Co. 9:14). Paul Conformed it (1 Co. 16:2). A study of these Scriptures shows that tithing is a scriptural principle. Abraham and Jacob tithed 500 years BEFORE the Law was instituted. Moses, Malachi, and Jesus spoke of tithing DURING the period of the Law. The Apostle Paul explained tithing AFTER the Law. Christians ought to tithe!"
Yep, spoken like a true IFB.
Now, having taught Adult Sunday school for several years I did learn some Bible in the process and I remembered the "1st Preachers Conference/What to do about these crazy Gentile Believers" of Acts 15. There it was decided that the O.T. Law was not to be placed on believers. Hmm, if God wanted to be crystal clear about tithing wouldn’t this be the perfect place to jot it down? (Relax, just a question).
Then the clincher: 2 Corinthians Chapter 8: 12, 13 speaks about giving, listen to this:
"For if there be first a willing mind, it is accepted according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not. For I mean not that other men be eased, and ye burdened: "
Scrreeech! How come I never "saw" this before? Yes, I’ve read it before, but I didn’t hear it. (Hey, sounds like a good sermon title.) Interestingly enough, as I write this I Googled the phrase "Christian Giving" and found a couple of sites that skip over this passage.
Ok, I was armed with my print out. But I was scared. Scared that I would go down the wrong path, that my financial problems were going to influence my decision. So I did what I thought was best. I grabbed a brother in Christ and pulled a Joan Rivers "Can we talk?"
Next, Part 4: "Pastor, I’m giving you my 2 weeks notice"
Monday, February 20, 2006
Part 2: Dear Bellsouth, I gave God my money. Please take it up with him.
I wrote my tithe check faithfully for several years. Never really hesitated, just wrote it out thanking God all the way. I was taught to give 10% of my Gross income, not Net. I was married had children and stuck with credit card bills as most Americans are. We lived paycheck to paycheck, and often times paycheck to Tax Refund (i.e. I often carried our checkbook in the red until we were "blessed" with our tax refund). There was a time when I was in the Army and didn’t have enough gas or money to report for Physical Training at 6:30 AM on post but I still gave my tithe, faith promise or any loose change I had in my pocket.
Obviously we struggled and it strained our marriage. I was making less than $20k/year and had 2 kids, living in a single-wide trailer. Later, when I was discharged from the Army I received some VA disability benefits and we were able to move to a bigger house. There I continued to perform as Song Leader, Sunday School Teacher, and fill in preacher while I worked 2 jobs, sometimes 3 and attended college full time. Yes, hard to believe but I did. I would leave around 7:00 AM and not return until 10:30 PM. VA had given me the opportunity to go back to school as part of their rehabilitation program, and they often pushed for a full-time course load so you can receive the maximum benefit per month and quickly graduate. Needless to say, I was tired, but mostly happy, or so I thought.
Then my phone was cut off. I was late paying the bill. Like a good Christian I gave my Tithe, plus my Faith Promise. Then I would subtract my bills. When I got down to the phone bill I went in the red. Not to worry I thought to myself, here I would get a chance to see the Lord at work and like the Pastor had preached many times, God would provide. Many a sermon I had heard about how the Lord would send $20, $50, or $100 to those that needed it especially when one was faithful in their tithe and offerings. I remembered tales of how Christians found money in the parking lot or simply received a gift from another brother or sister because the Lord led them.
Around the same time, my wife was growing as a person and was receiving considerable flak from her parents over wearing pants. Or as they put it "That which pertaineth to a man." I had made numerous attempts to come to her defense and simply explain that while the principal of the separation of the sexes is plain and eternal. I no longer agreed that pants are specifically made only for men and I don’t know of any IFB preachers that shop for pants in the women’s department at JC Penny. Unfortunately, they came short of disowning her and indirectly called her an abomination and whore. Great mother, doesn’t smoke or drink, her kids behave very well, they get A’s and B’s in school, faithful to her husband, but wait . . . she wears pants!? She’s abominable.
"Hello, yes this is he . . . no I can’t pay the phone bill [God has the money, I wanted to say]. Ok I’ll pay it as soon as I can."
No phone. I couldn't even call 911 if I needed to. What happened? Where was God? There I was living paycheck to paycheck. I gave my tithe, Faith Promise, and offerings. Where was my "good measure, pressed down, shaken?" My wife was in spiritual distress over something as silly as pants on women. I was working 2 to 3 jobs, teaching Sunday school, leading songs, singing solos, preaching and running the service. I was starting my senior year of college by now and the courses for my major were significantly harder. I kept hearing "burn out for Jesus", "serve", "give".
Funny thing when you burn out for Jesus. No one likes you any more.
Next Installment . . ."Pastor, can I still teach Sunday School even if I don’t tithe?"
Obviously we struggled and it strained our marriage. I was making less than $20k/year and had 2 kids, living in a single-wide trailer. Later, when I was discharged from the Army I received some VA disability benefits and we were able to move to a bigger house. There I continued to perform as Song Leader, Sunday School Teacher, and fill in preacher while I worked 2 jobs, sometimes 3 and attended college full time. Yes, hard to believe but I did. I would leave around 7:00 AM and not return until 10:30 PM. VA had given me the opportunity to go back to school as part of their rehabilitation program, and they often pushed for a full-time course load so you can receive the maximum benefit per month and quickly graduate. Needless to say, I was tired, but mostly happy, or so I thought.
Then my phone was cut off. I was late paying the bill. Like a good Christian I gave my Tithe, plus my Faith Promise. Then I would subtract my bills. When I got down to the phone bill I went in the red. Not to worry I thought to myself, here I would get a chance to see the Lord at work and like the Pastor had preached many times, God would provide. Many a sermon I had heard about how the Lord would send $20, $50, or $100 to those that needed it especially when one was faithful in their tithe and offerings. I remembered tales of how Christians found money in the parking lot or simply received a gift from another brother or sister because the Lord led them.
Around the same time, my wife was growing as a person and was receiving considerable flak from her parents over wearing pants. Or as they put it "That which pertaineth to a man." I had made numerous attempts to come to her defense and simply explain that while the principal of the separation of the sexes is plain and eternal. I no longer agreed that pants are specifically made only for men and I don’t know of any IFB preachers that shop for pants in the women’s department at JC Penny. Unfortunately, they came short of disowning her and indirectly called her an abomination and whore. Great mother, doesn’t smoke or drink, her kids behave very well, they get A’s and B’s in school, faithful to her husband, but wait . . . she wears pants!? She’s abominable.
"Hello, yes this is he . . . no I can’t pay the phone bill [God has the money, I wanted to say]. Ok I’ll pay it as soon as I can."
No phone. I couldn't even call 911 if I needed to. What happened? Where was God? There I was living paycheck to paycheck. I gave my tithe, Faith Promise, and offerings. Where was my "good measure, pressed down, shaken?" My wife was in spiritual distress over something as silly as pants on women. I was working 2 to 3 jobs, teaching Sunday school, leading songs, singing solos, preaching and running the service. I was starting my senior year of college by now and the courses for my major were significantly harder. I kept hearing "burn out for Jesus", "serve", "give".
Funny thing when you burn out for Jesus. No one likes you any more.
Next Installment . . ."Pastor, can I still teach Sunday School even if I don’t tithe?"
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Part 1: The IFB way . . .
If the above quotes have peaked your curiosity then please read on. I hope you have the courage and honesty to read this and judge the following material for yourself and not apply the judgements and convictions of your church, your Pastor or your particular brand of Christianity. If you are an Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) then I welcome you and hope this gives you some knowledge, understanding and wisdom of how not to conduct yourself as a Christian. If you are an IFB pastor, preacher, evangelist, Sunday school teacher, missionary, deacon or any form of church leader then let this be a warning that none of us, especially you, are above the judgement of our Lord Jesus Christ and the blessed Holy Spirit.
First let me begin with who I was. I was an up and coming IFB Christian that later became an adult Sunday school teacher, song leader, and deacon. I was often called to fill in for the pastor of the churches I attended whenever the pastor was out of town. I had a great zeal for the Lord and His work. I was there whenever the church doors were open. Thursday evening visitation, Saturday morning visitation and Saturday night prayer meetings you name it I was there. I sang solos in front my church, often known as "specials" or "special music". I taught myself guitar and played and sang hymns and soul-stirring southern gospel songs in front of my congregation. Yes, I was careful of my selections of southern gospel for I feared that many songs were not appropriate for the worship service.
By far the ministry that was most dear to me was teaching. Several members of the church, including my pastors and visiting ministers often told me that I had the "gift of teaching." I enjoyed breaking down the word of God and extracting the principals for living. When I prepared for my Sunday School lessons I looked for the leading of the Holy Spirit. I never followed a published teaching program like Baptist Press. I earnestly sought the leading of God and spent many hours on Saturday, and early Sunday morning preparing and praying. I loved it, I didn’t do it for the spot-light or vain glory. I did it because I loved to share what I found in the precious Word of God. The Word of God (KJV only) was exciting, alive and real. I wanted to share its goodness with my church. When I was medically discharged from the Army I came very close to surrendering full-time to becoming an Evangelist and went as far as "surveying" my future Christian college, Ambassador Baptist College in Shelby, North Carolina, founded by Evangelist Ron Comfort.
I married into a family of preachers. My wife was a missionary’s daughter whom I met while being stationed overseas. Her oldest brother was a pastor of an IFB church, her other brother was an IFB Evangelist, and her older sister was smack in the will of God by being an IFB missionary’s wife. Under her father (my then future father-in-law), I was taught in the doctrines of the IFB. At this time let me point out that I met Jesus and was saved before I became an IFB. My affiliation and subsequent transformation into an IFB occurred at this time. Having been saved in a Pentecostal church that taught little Bible I finally found a church that fed me. My future wife was being trained to be a preacher’s wife. When I later surrendered to preach, I qualified.
That’s who I was. Who am I now? Rest assured, I’m still a Christian. I’m saved, and to answer the question that I often used on visitation. "If I were to die tonight, where would I go?" The answer is Heaven. I’m still a Blood-Bought believer. Of more important to readers is the question: "What am I doing now?" The answer is not pretty to an IFB. Indeed, I would venture to say that I will lose some of you in disgust. You will claim that I am back-slidden and in need of God’s judgement. That I departed the church because I was never a part of the "church." So, if you have the courage then read on.
I don’t go to church, I don’t take my family to church. My wife refuses to set foot in any church. I don’t believe in tithing any more (don’t be scared, keep reading). I believe to fully understand the scriptures one must study several different translations (gasp! --I've lost about 90% of you IFB's). I encourage birth control (you would too, if you knew the Christians I do). I go to the movies. I enjoy secular music. I send my kids to public school (sorry Jack Chick, I must meet all those liberal God-Hating teachers you know firsthand). I’ve sampled some wine at Olive Garden (what can I say, I'm horrible). Needless to say my wife and I are considered the "Black Sheep".
Next installment…."I can't pay my phone bill . . . I gave the money to God!"
First let me begin with who I was. I was an up and coming IFB Christian that later became an adult Sunday school teacher, song leader, and deacon. I was often called to fill in for the pastor of the churches I attended whenever the pastor was out of town. I had a great zeal for the Lord and His work. I was there whenever the church doors were open. Thursday evening visitation, Saturday morning visitation and Saturday night prayer meetings you name it I was there. I sang solos in front my church, often known as "specials" or "special music". I taught myself guitar and played and sang hymns and soul-stirring southern gospel songs in front of my congregation. Yes, I was careful of my selections of southern gospel for I feared that many songs were not appropriate for the worship service.
By far the ministry that was most dear to me was teaching. Several members of the church, including my pastors and visiting ministers often told me that I had the "gift of teaching." I enjoyed breaking down the word of God and extracting the principals for living. When I prepared for my Sunday School lessons I looked for the leading of the Holy Spirit. I never followed a published teaching program like Baptist Press. I earnestly sought the leading of God and spent many hours on Saturday, and early Sunday morning preparing and praying. I loved it, I didn’t do it for the spot-light or vain glory. I did it because I loved to share what I found in the precious Word of God. The Word of God (KJV only) was exciting, alive and real. I wanted to share its goodness with my church. When I was medically discharged from the Army I came very close to surrendering full-time to becoming an Evangelist and went as far as "surveying" my future Christian college, Ambassador Baptist College in Shelby, North Carolina, founded by Evangelist Ron Comfort.
I married into a family of preachers. My wife was a missionary’s daughter whom I met while being stationed overseas. Her oldest brother was a pastor of an IFB church, her other brother was an IFB Evangelist, and her older sister was smack in the will of God by being an IFB missionary’s wife. Under her father (my then future father-in-law), I was taught in the doctrines of the IFB. At this time let me point out that I met Jesus and was saved before I became an IFB. My affiliation and subsequent transformation into an IFB occurred at this time. Having been saved in a Pentecostal church that taught little Bible I finally found a church that fed me. My future wife was being trained to be a preacher’s wife. When I later surrendered to preach, I qualified.
That’s who I was. Who am I now? Rest assured, I’m still a Christian. I’m saved, and to answer the question that I often used on visitation. "If I were to die tonight, where would I go?" The answer is Heaven. I’m still a Blood-Bought believer. Of more important to readers is the question: "What am I doing now?" The answer is not pretty to an IFB. Indeed, I would venture to say that I will lose some of you in disgust. You will claim that I am back-slidden and in need of God’s judgement. That I departed the church because I was never a part of the "church." So, if you have the courage then read on.
I don’t go to church, I don’t take my family to church. My wife refuses to set foot in any church. I don’t believe in tithing any more (don’t be scared, keep reading). I believe to fully understand the scriptures one must study several different translations (gasp! --I've lost about 90% of you IFB's). I encourage birth control (you would too, if you knew the Christians I do). I go to the movies. I enjoy secular music. I send my kids to public school (sorry Jack Chick, I must meet all those liberal God-Hating teachers you know firsthand). I’ve sampled some wine at Olive Garden (what can I say, I'm horrible). Needless to say my wife and I are considered the "Black Sheep".
Next installment…."I can't pay my phone bill . . . I gave the money to God!"
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